It's that time of year again, when I hate going to the mailbox. Normally I dislike getting the mail in anticipation of bills or late notices, but none of them compare to the most dreaded mail of all...
The Christmas Letter.
No offense to those of you who write them. I know it is a nice way to keep loved ones informed of the past year in your lives. But, really... embellish much??? As I read these multiple page sagas of promotions, straight A's, trophies, and family sing-a-longs by a warm fire, all I can think is, "What a load of crap!" No one's life is that perfect. Just once, I'd like to read a truthful Christmas letter, one that keeps it real.
So, in honor of the holiday season, when you are supposed to be pure of heart and tell the truth, I thought I would write my version of an honest Christmas letter. This is what I would say, about the past year:
Dearest family and friends:
I hope this letter finds you all in good spirits. 2010 has been quite a year for the Corbin family. It began with New Year's Day, which was spent in the Emergency Room. My constipation had finally gotten completely out of control, resulting in a severe hernia. The doctors repaired it with surgery and a mesh patch, but alas, I still can't poop. We are hoping things move more smoothly for me by next Christmas. We'll keep you posted.
Michael has been the most successful of our clan. He received a promotion at work, but that didn't compare to the joy and pride that we felt, when he finally beat "Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2" on the Xbox 360. A tear came to my eye as I watched him complete his final mission. But, that may have been because my ears were bleeding from the high decibel gunshots I'd been listening to for three months.
Our boys, Jackson and Henry, are doing well. Jackson started preschool this year and seems to be making lots of friends. We are trying to learn all of their names, so that we know who to blame when Jackson does something wrong. Henry has even made friends at Jack's school. In fact, the woman who he threw his clogs at on the first day, says "Hi" to him each morning. The boys are very close. At Preschool Drop-Off for Jack, Henry bids good-bye to him, in the same loving way, every morning by shouting, "Bye-bye, Poopy Head Jackson!!" It warms my heart, to witness their bond.
The other night, after we put the boys to bed, Michael and I lit candles, and sat on the couch, curled up under a quilt, reflecting on the past year, and how blessed we are. After all, we made it one more year without needing Welfare! As we high-fived each other, we realized that the Med-Ed bill must have arrived on time, because the electricity wasn't really shut off. We quickly blew out the candles, turned on the lights, and settled in for some "Call of Duty." Yes, we most certainly are very blessed. Here's wishing you and yours, the Merriest of Christmases.
Love, The Corbin Family
