Bedtime turned out to be the biggest struggle of all. When they were finally asleep, I crawled onto the couch, still grouchy over the day's events. I kept thinking,
"What have we done wrong, to cause this behavior?"
"They aren't getting any Easter candy tomorrow."
"I need to come up with better punishments."
My mind was racing.
When Henry cried out about an hour later, I became even more aggravated. I went into the boys' room, and picked him up to move him, so to not wake up Jack. But he stopped crying as soon as I lifted him. I stood as he lay on my shoulder and I swayed gently until he settled. I laid him on his bed and he opened his eyes just slightly and said, "'Nugs??"
('''Nugs" is short for "snuggles" - how could I resist?)
I climbed into bed with Henry and he wrapped his chubby arms around my neck and I rubbed his back until he fell asleep. As I lay there, listening to the sound of his breathing while his damp curls tickled my nose, all of the anger and tension that I had been feeling went away. I had scolded Henry at least one hundred times today. But he wasn't upset; he didn't hold a grudge... he just needed my love.
It made me think of marriage vows. You take the same vows when you become a parent, only they are stronger. You don't stand in front of witnesses and proclaim them. You don't use rings to symbolize them. And you don't sign a license to prove them. Those silent parental vows come from the depths of your soul. You can't break them, because they only exist in your heart. It is a biological, emotional, and spiritual connection that is there for life.
I got up from Henry's bed and looked at Jackson, who was sleeping peacefully. I felt guilty, because he did not get any "nugs" before bedtime - just a threat of no TV tomorrow. So, I went to the edge of his bed, kissed his cheek, and whispered in his ear:
"Jackson Corbin, Mommy loves you. I love you for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."
And sleeping soundly, he smiled.
Happy Easter, everyone!!
