One of my favorite movies of all time is "Little Miss Sunshine." My sister saw it first, at the theater. She called me and said, "Anna, you MUST see this movie. You'll pee your pants." Since my family considers laughing until you pee your pants to be the absolute pinnacle in judging a comedy, I listened to her.
And yes, I almost peed my pants. It was one of the most hilarious films I had ever seen. For those of you who haven't seen it, it is about the Hoover family, making a cross-country trip to get their daughter, Olive, to the Little Miss Sunshine pageant. Every member of the family is a failure in his or her own right, and the pageant becomes a delusion in their minds. They are so down on their luck, that they take every last penny they have and pin all hopes of any chance of winning at anything on poor little Olive. They are a desperate family on a mission, and they will let nothing stand in their way.
The following day, I went to work and told everyone I encountered to go see this movie. A few days later, my boss pulled me aside, and expressed her disappointment in me. "I saw 'Little Miss Sunshine,' Anna," she said. "I didn't laugh at all. I thought it was depressing, I thought it was sad, and I can't believe that you are the type of person who would laugh at the misfortune of others."
I was stumped. Had we seen the same movie? Did I miss the point? Was I a bad person for enjoying it? Upon viewing the movie again, this time with my mother, who laughed even harder than I did, I realized that I hadn't missed the point. My boss had. She just didn't "get" it.
The themes of LMS are not the most positive: Suicide. Unemployment. Drug Use. Bankruptcy. Death. But it is the manner in which the family handles them that makes it funny. I am not laughing at them, I am laughing with them. In one way or another, I have been there. I understand wanting something good to happen, and being willing to go through anything for a "win." There is a fine line between determination and desperation. Trust me, once you cross that line... sometimes all you can do is laugh.
I have been crammed in a Volkswagen Rabbit with no A/C in the middle of July with four other people, including my handicapped grandfather and a weeks worth of luggage, in a car that kept overheating. My dad was so determined - er, desperate - to get us to WV for vacation, that he kept waiting for the car to overheat, only to let it cool, pour some water in the radiator, and restart the car to drive five miles before having to start the process again. At the time, not so funny. Looking back, pretty hilarious.
I have gone with my mom and step dad to a vacation on Deep Creek lake, knowing we couldn't afford to go, but so desperate for a change of scenery, went anyway. Then I called my husband, convinced him to get into our son's piggy bank for enough change to get him enough gas in the car to come join us, with no way of knowing how we'd get home. After he arrived at the lake, we laughed about it all week long.
I have thrown impromptu Yard Sales in my front yard, selling anything from the rack the clothes were hanging on to half used bottles of hand lotion, because I was desperate to go out to dinner that evening. Insisting that a toothless woman wearing a mumu pay me $1.00 instead of $.50 for a bottle of Curel that I had just used after my shower that morning, just to get to eat a decent cheeseburger, that's worth a giggle or two.
I have been there. And I have not been alone. The best part of having a dysfunctional family, is that you are a "family." You are with others who are like you, who understand you, who "get" you. My boss came from a well-to-do household, where the car always ran, vacations were planned a year in advance, and she never had to have a yard sale in her life. Because of that, she doesn't understand that when faced with problems or tragedies, people find different was to cope. And my family, now and always, chooses to laugh. We understand that life is crappy, and as long as you surround yourself with people who understand that, everything with be okay. And if it's not, at least you have someone with whom to laugh about it.
My favorite scene in "Little Miss Sunshine," is right after the grandfather dies. (Hilarious, right??) Unable to afford funeral arrangements and having only an hour to get to the pageant, the Hoover family steals the dead body from the hospital, throws it in the trunk, and goes on their way. Soon after, sirens can be heard. Richard, the father, warns his family, "Pretend to be normal," and heads to the back of the van, where he fears the police officer has found the body. Instead, the officer has found the grandfather's porn stash. In an effort to distract the cop, Richard pretends that they are his, and he and the cop ogle the magazines while a dead body lies in front of them, covered only with a sheet. It is one of the funniest moments in movie history.
While my family doesn't regularly buy porn or use heroin, I am proud to have a family like the Hoovers. I am proud to have people in my life who "get" me. We understand each other's failures and flaws, and we accept them. And I am proud to be raising my children to laugh at themselves, instead of feeling sorry for themselves, by finding humor amid utter devastation. Sick kids, past due bills, overdrawn checking accounts, broken furnaces and all, I happen to think my life is, well, like Richard describes his copy of "Big Jugs" magazine... Sweet Sweetness.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VWyH_twcMl0
