My parents always taught me to not be a sore loser. The way that they instilled this lesson was to teach me to always try to win... always. I come from a very competitive family and we love to win. This has turned me into what my husband calls "a sore winner." I not only love to win, but I enjoy winning LOUDLY. I've been losing friends playing board games, since I was five years old. I'm frequently accused of "taunting" and "being obnoxious."
But, like I always say, if you don't like to lose, you probably shouldn't play games against me.
All of this stems from my mom and dad teaching me from an early age how to lose. My dad never threw a game of Candyland in my favor. But I learned to try. Playing catch for the first time with a real baseball when I was seven, resulted in the only black eye I have ever had. But I learned to keep my glove up when Dad threw his fastball. My youth group had a "Mother's Night" when I was a teenager. We played an ice-breaker game called, "Birdie on a Perch" ("Musical Chairs" with people). My own mom knocked me to the floor to reach her partner first. But I learned to not let ANYONE get in my way. : )
I should clarify that I am by no means an athlete. I am not the best at sports. (Except Wiffle Ball - I will beat you down at Wiffle Ball!) That doesn't mean that I don't play, when given the chance. That doesn't mean that I don't try my best. And that doesn't mean that I don't exhaust all efforts necessary to win, despite my lack of ability. It's not that I think winning is super important. I just like the feeling that I get when I win. It feels good... it feels really good.
This is why I have such a problem with children's sports. In our area, youth soccer and little league teams don't keep score. That doesn't even make sense to me. Why play a game if there's no winner at the end? What is that teaching our children? I can tell you what it's NOT teaching them. It's not teaching them to try their best to achieve a goal. It's not teaching them sportsmanship, because they never have to congratulate or feel empathy for the other team. Most importantly, it's not teaching them how to lose.
As I said, I am not a sore loser. I know this because I have lost many times. I don't like to lose, which is why I try so hard to win. Our children need to be taught how to lose. A child who thinks he can never lose develops a false sense of entitlement. They don't have the desire achieve, because there's no reason for it. I can't help but think that there is a direct correlation between Generation Y's "slacker" reputation and the fact that competition (and, therefore, ambition) is no longer taught. Winning isn't everything, but the truth is that life is one big competition. Not everyone gets into college. Not everyone gets the promotion at work. Not everyone can run the beer pong table, winning every game for four hours straight, the first time she ever plays. *clears throat arrogantly*
In our house, we thrive on competition. We keep a tally of who guesses correctly during the "Head, Gut, or Groin" segment of "America's Funniest Videos." Jackson does a victory dance when he beats his dad and I at Yahtzee (fair and square, I might add). My husband and I throw elbows to get to the sink, first, to brush our teeth at bedtime. My boys will need ambition as they get older. Being different, they will have to deal with bullies. Being small, they will have to struggle to be heard. Being sickly, they will have to fight for their health. It is my job to teach them to compete, to teach them to reach for their goals, and to teach them to get back up and to try again. They will be a force to be reckoned with.
The other night, Henry, my two year old, was randomly pushing buttons on his brother's Nintendo DS. The battery died and the screen went black. Henry raised his fist triumphantly, smiled, and shouted, "I win!!"
I was so proud.
