Once upon a time, a little boy was born. He was a happy boy. He giggled and cooed. He was a bit precocious. He liked to run and to climb and to explore. He gave his mom hugs and promised to buy her "coffee drinks" and "pretty dresses," when he grew up. He shared cookies with his granddad, who lived with his family, and watched "Old Yeller" over and over again. He was a happy boy.
The little boy grew. He went to school, and he made friends. He became an altar boy, a job that he took very seriously. He played Little League and his coaches and teammates called him "Smiles" for obvious reasons. He tried to find ways to embarrass his teenage sister, as little brothers do. He became an idol and role model to his little sister, as big brothers do. He liked to make his sisters laugh, doing celebrity impressions and reenacting his favorite parts of movies. His family swore that he would grow up to be a comedian. He was a happy boy.
Then, one day, the boy started high school. He made the golf team as a Freshman and that made him very happy. But then, his grades began to slip, and he was no longer able to participate on the golf team. He stopped making his family laugh, he stopped smiling, and he became withdrawn and angry. He was a sad boy.
When his older sister came home from college, one Thanksgiving, she discovered, through a friend, that her brother had been targeted by bullies. Apparently, when the boy made the golf team, he took the position previously held by a Junior. This Junior and a few of his friends, cornered the boy daily. They had been humiliating and torturing the boy since the beginning of the school year. When the abuse resulted in the low grades that cost the boy his position on the golf team, they turned to psychological warfare. They called him "stupid," and "worthless." He was a very sad boy.
When his parents began alerting the authorities, the school, and their Church about what was happening, life changed dramatically. One bully was expelled, but the others were given a slap on the wrist. When the boy's father asked the principal why the other bullies were not punished as severely, she replied, "Well, their parents are upstanding members of our community and their support is valuable to Delone Catholic High School."
The boy changed schools.
The boy's Parish priest was confronted about the church's intramural basketball team, that the boy played on, because one of the bullies was also on the team. The priest, like the principal, referred to the bully's family as an influential benefactor to the Parish.
The boy and his family stopped going to Church.
Friends that the boy's family had had for years, stopped visiting. They were supporters of the Church and the school, and did not understand why the boy's family needed to rock the boat. Instead of supporting the boy's bravery, members of the community began condemn him for challenging the perfect world in which they all lived. The boy's parents began to argue. They argued over how everything could have been prevented. They argued over treatment of the boy.
The boy's parents divorced.
When the boy graduated high school, he moved away. His visits home became more and more sparse, and then they stopped all together. He said that his home was no longer his home. He said that the town he had grown up in was never supportive of him. Everything was a reminder of his past.
It has been said, that it takes a village to raise a child. While that may be true, it can also be said that it can take a village to destroy a child. In fact, a village has enough power to destroy a family.
It has been a little over ten years since the episodes of abuse that my brother endured at Delone Catholic High School. I don't think that any of those who are familiar with what happened, know of the lasting effects it had on our family. My brother was a victim, yet he was never treated as such. The loyalties to the town's only Catholic high school in our area, are disturbing. They are loyalties that are stronger than morals, friendships, and the love for a child. Our family crumbled, yet the school, and the community, still stand, proudly, full of hypocrisy and greed.
Saturday was my brothers birthday. He turned 26 years old. I haven't seen him in over two years. His nephews are growing up without him. I miss him everyday. He was such a happy boy.
